•  Pairings of Bonding Couples

While marriage is a socially constructed institution, the desire to be in a relationship is biological. Both sex and bonding are natural pleasures. Humans belong to a small group of mammals known as pair bonders, which account for less than 5% of all mammals. This means that, like swans, we have the brain structures that allow us to mate for life and be socially monogamous. They enable us to form long-term bonds, long enough for two caregivers to raise their children. 'Social monogamy', on the other hand, is not the same as sexual monogamy.' Almost all mammals, including humans, are tempted to "play away from home." A thorough review of the literature can be found here.

These pair-bonding structures are found in the reward system. The same structures motivate us to seek out other natural rewards such as food and water. Unfortunately, processed or artificial rewards such as alcohol, nicotine, and drugs also have an impact. They take advantage of the pleasure/reward system. Artificial rewards, such as cocaine and alcohol, can actually produce a stronger euphoria than sex. Researchers discovered that pair bonders are more prone to addiction than animals who are promiscuous by nature. We'll see why this is a serious problem for love later, under The Coolidge Effect.

The importance of bonding and trust cannot be overstated. Hugging, kissing, caressing, entwining, and having intercourse are all ways we want to express love with our bodies. The healing power of loving touch is that it "soothes the savage beast." Physically, couples who have a harmonious loving relationship heal faster after an injury. Whether we think of love as romantically being 'in love,' or as pure passion and lust, these feelings and emotions are primarily felt and experienced in the brain. So, by learning as much as we can about how the brain works, we will be able to experience those life-enhancing emotions in a more natural way.